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23rd September 2012

I wrote a recipe for the Cooking with Comedians blog, you can read it here: http://is.gd/vRFABC

I was reading Amiri Baraka’s poems when he died. I’m reading One Hundred Years of Solitude and Gabriel García Márquez has died. Perhaps for the hat-trick I should read Tony Benn’s diaries and see if it has the reverse effect on the deceased. It is Easter after all. But I’ll probably just blow it on Tony Blair.


  • Beowulf is the first recorded case of a nuisance neighbour situation escalating out of control. And then he gets killed by a dragon.
  • I don't know about any of that book learning, but I studied black hole thermodynamics at the school of LIFE.
  • Saying 'look me in the eye and say that' before closing your eyes and putting your fingers in your ears is an underrated negotiating tactic.
  • I remember the day I decided I wanted to do comedy cos it was the same day a guy who looked like an old, sad me appeared & urged me not to.
  • If elected I'll see that tax is calculated at the checkout so those filling an existential void with consumer goods pay more.
  • If elected I will reduce sarcasm wastage in text-based conversations without turning to emoticons. Want to know how? ;-)
  • If elected I will abolish 'friend zones' and enrol anyone who insists they're in one on a Women's Studies course.