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Filthy bits and philanthropists.

19th June 2010

It’s nice to have a few lovely gigs in a row, and this is what this blog post will be about. The following post will be about a few mediocre gigs in a row, thereby maintaining a tidy balance reflective of the ups and downs of gigging. I’m like the Cylons, I have a plan. Hopefully it won’t make fuck all sense and culminate in a woefully disappointing conclusion.
After…

Realities and anomalies.

4th June 2010

There’s not much point apologising or accounting for six weeks of dormancy. It’s a blog, no one cares.
I’d done four gong shows where I left off, and had yet to do my first actual open spot, which turned out to be a bit impromptu. At the Manchester Frog and Bucket I’d met another Sheffield act who’d dropped in to watch. She gave me a lift home, which was a…

Wait, wait. False start. NOW I’ll begin.

13th April 2010

So far in my first two blog posts I’ve covered my first two gigs. I’m probably going to speed it up a little and over time I hope the stuff I write here to be a bit more flexible, rather than exclusively being a chronological record of my gigs. Most other stand-up acts would probably find this tedious and self-indulgent. Which is why I’m not going to be telling most…

…then I’ll begin.

21st March 2010

What most surprised me about that first gong show in Preston was that my nerves transformed into an unexpected adrenaline rush, manufacturing in me a rare surge of confidence. There was an energy about my delivery that was more of a biochemical by-product than a rehearsed performance. It’s an exhilarating feeling. I came down from the stage after five minutes but didn’t come down from the high for hours. After…

If you’re sitting comfortably…

7th March 2010

A few months ago now I attempted stand-up comedy and I want, here on this blog, to record my thoughts about the continuing experience of doing so. There might be a spattering of humour but that’s not the purpose. It’ll be a journal of sorts, I suppose. We shall see. The first thing I wanted to try to capture is what it’s like to attempt stand-up, to be inclined, despite…

12

Read my Christmas address: tmblr.co/ZjhGTyZ-z8iA

Tweets

  • Facebook and Twitter full of objections to racism. I shield myself from actual racism, much like the actual violence of our foreign policy.
  • I vomited on my phone, so I'm getting an upgrade. I'm a walking metaphor for the awfulness of modern civilisation.
  • The cake for breakfast alone makes worth it, but Dave Longley simultaneously delivering and dissecting his club set was ace.
  • A time traveller's phrase book would be full of things not to say, like 'what did your last slave die of?' and 'yummy mummy'.
  • Going to work is always hardest on Mondays because I know the new Game of Thrones has aired.
  • A logistical nightmare would be a pretty dull dream.
  • My girlfriend just drew my attention to a bit of Big Mac and fries I dropped on our doorstep before locking her out of the house on Friday.
  • The current Daily Mail ad features a TV news studio with a Daily Mail newsreader. Awful vision. Like Farage doing a PPB from Downing Street.

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